ASK KICKSTAND

Ask Kickstand is an email advice column dedicated to motorcycle questions. These questions can be technical; regrading mechanical issues, safety related, philosophical, spiritual or relationship issues. 

Disclaimer: Kickstand is not a psychiatrist, a professional mechanic, Motorcycle Safety Trainer, pastor or a social worker. If a reader chooses to follow Kickstand's advice it is with the understanding that neither Kickstand nor the Nobody Motorcycle Club will be held liable.

Dear Kickstand,

I have a problem that seems impossible to resolve. I have contacted therapists, social workers, pastors, psychics, college professors, life coaches and international motivational speakers. No one is remotely interested in helping me. I have been clear that I do not lack money and would reward anyone who could help me. Yet I seldom get a response and often have had people hang up on me or excuse themselves from our initial conference and not return. I hope your will be willing to assist me.

About 10 years ago, I was inline skating several times a week. One day as I was putting on my skates, I  mindlessly started spinning the wheels on one of the skates then the thought came into my mind that "those little wheels could fall off". I went for my skate, but was some what fearful about having an accident. I started every skate after that by spinning the wheels on one of my skates and thinking about how my life depended on those little wheels. Within a month I stopped inline skating and put the skates out of sight, as they caused me to feel anxious. Several months later as I was grocery shopping with my then 3 year old child, one of the wheels on the shopping cart was wobbling side to side causing a racket and making the cart shutter. I had a sudden fear that the cart could flip over hurting my child. I switched carts and continued shopping. Over the course of the next several weeks, I would inspect a shopping cart before placing my child in the seat and eventually I even felt uncomfortable with a cart the rolled smoothly choosing to have my child walk by my side. In a matter of weeks I discontinued using shopping carts and carried a shopping basket instead. This was inconvenient as I could not buy a weeks worth of groceries, but I continued the practice. To make a long story short this mistrust of wheels over the past 10 years has progressed to the point of not even driving a car! My husband of course was at first mildly amused, but as the years have passed and the fear has spread to other wheels he is very concerned. Then the unthinkable occurred; last week I was afraid to ride my motorcycle. I have ridden a motorcycle for over 30 years. It is a big part of my life and really a big part of my personal identity. I cannot imagine never riding again. Please help me!


Sincerely,
Wheelie Scared


Dear Wheelie Scared,

First let me assure you that I can help you. In a matter of a few days you will not only be riding your cycle again, but all your wheel fears will be gone. You see it is all in semantics. Do you have wheel fears or real fears? I believe the answer is neither. I believe you have reel fears. You have been watching too much lousy American Television! The combination of numbing advertisements and mindless shows of psycho killers, horrendous car and personal accidents along with reality shows that are far removed from reality and the redeeming qualities of humanity.  Stop watching television and starting using your wheels again!