Friday, June 27, 2008

RANDOM THOUGHTS FROM THE PRESIDENT


A couple of days ago, I was getting a little bored during a ride. There were no deer to dodge, no little critters running across the road. The traffic was sane and the weather was perfect. So to stem my boredom I started to use a variety of waves to the on coming cyclists. I noticed that a few bikers would actually mirror my wave. Maybe my magnetic personality, my powerful leadership skills, my good looks and style just affects people even when I am 30 feet away going 50 miles per hour!

Well one thing lead to another, I started becoming more animated with my waves with hopes of getting more bikers mimicking me. As the miles passed and my inhibitions diminished, I got a little crazy. In retrospect, I am fortunate that I didn't go off the road.

The lesson I learned was it is best to bounce ones bike stunts and gags off another Nobody before implementing the plan.



Yes my favorite wave "The Handlebar High Five" can get a little boring but before you try another wave make sure it is safe and sensible.




The "Double Hand Deuce" really was a stupid wave as it took both my hands off the handle bars. I nearly went off the road. My biker buddy Pretzel said" Kickstand, that's a dangerous wave! Evil Knievel practiced that wave for years prior to performing it in public. Next time you have an idea that involves a motorcycle give me a call first."



The "Double Handlebar High" was also very fun to use, but again it too is rather dangerous.



I know I really crossed the line when I did the "Hokey Poke Wave". I can't repeat what Pretzel said about that stunt. I promised him I would only do that one on roller skates in the future.
Well, I suppose it is best that your fearless and senseless leader teaches all the Nobodies by example. I am willing and able to spare my brothers and sisters the pain, embarrassment and humiliation of learning the hard way.





Wednesday, June 25, 2008

NOBODY SOUTH DAKOTA TOUR

This is a photo of our 2007 Tour departing from Duluth

Hey folks we (Pretzel and Kickstand) are excited to announce that the 2008 Nobody Summer Tour plans are being finalized. We will be departing from Duluth at around 4 PM Monday June 30th. We will be going up the Northshore on Highway 61 then taking Highway 1 across Minnesota. Pretzel has always wanted to drive the length of northern Minnesota on Highway 1. Our plans get a little sketchy when we cross the boarder into North Dakota, but highway 200 looks appealing at this time. Our plan is to take less traveled county roads/single lane highways across North Dakota then drop down into western South Dakota and ride through the Badlands. On the way back to Minnesota we will continue to seek out the less traveled roads and finish off by driving nearly the entire length of Highway 23 which is one of my goals. Highway 23 goes from the southwestern corner of Minnesota diagonally up to Duluth. It coincidentally starts/ends right in my neighborhood.
If you are interested in joining us contact me. The cost for our tour services is quite reasonable at a mere $50 a day. The daily fee will cover our expert advice and our phenomenal company. You are responsible for all travel costs; gas, food, fees and need to carry all your luggage and gear. We are going to be camping and cooking-out most of the time.
Another option is for you to send us off by riding with us for the first twenty-five miles. If you are interested in this contact me and I will give you departure information.
Lastly for a mere $100 we will present you with your very own "The Nobodies In The Dakotas". A photo journal of the trip.

RANDOM THOUGHTS FROM THE PRESIDENT

I have been thinking about the differences between younger riders and older riders. There seems to be some significant differences that I have noticed. I define older riders as at least 48 years old and younger riders up to the age of 32 years old. The gray zone of 33 - 47 is some thing I will reflect on at a later date.

Younger riders are not as concerned about having their skin ripped off their bodies, consequently they are willing to wear shorts, t-shirts and even sandals while riding. Us older folks are more apt to defer the summer wear, because we think of the pain of road rash. Lets face it my body is a bit lumpy too. My Darien Ridewear covers those lumps quite well.

Older riders are not into jackrabbit starts and think about driving in ways to maximize their gas mileage. Our younger counterparts not only enjoy higher rpms and getting off from the light quickly, they also enjoy finding ways to get an adrenalin rush. Whether it is pushing the limit on a curvy road or shear speed on a straightaway, they have a need that the older rider finds unnecessary. Actually I don't know if I have any adrenalin left. I think I used all mine up years ago and it has been replace by a common sense gland. I now get a rush from going around a curve at 5mph over the speed limit!

I believe there are many other differences, but they all pale in comparison to the most significant difference. Young riders like:




LOUD PIPES


Older riders like:

LOUD HORNS

I just put a set of low/high tone horns on my bike this year. They are loud (134 decibles). I discovered on a recient ride up toward Ely that I can scare the majoriety of the deer I see along the roadside with my dyamic duo! Loud horns make alot of sense to me and I get a common sense rush when I use them.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

THE INITIATION OF JAWA THE PUTTS

Me (Kickstand) with Jawa the Putts (right)

Being the president of the Nobody Motorcycle Club is not always a pleasant and enjoyable job. There are tough decisions and gut churning situations that come my way occasionally. Some times that problem is a person. At our last Muffin Ride we initiated two new Nobodies; Gutts (Stacy) and Jawa the Putts (Dave). It became apparent to myself and Vice President Pretzel that we were going to have problems with Jawa. Usually our simple Nobody Initiation (NI) breaks down the inductees ego so they are receptive to the Nobody Indoctrination Process. Pretzel and I noticed on our first ride with Jawa that he was not buying into our Nobody philosophy and that our NIP would not work on him. We attempted on several other rides to get him on track, but all our attempts were met with a strong defense system and a feeling of self importance and adequacy. We had to break this guy down before we lost him. Jawa the Putts required an initiation ride. We have only resorted to an initiation ride on three other occasions. The ride isolates, disorients and deprives the participant until all they want is to be a Nobody.


The above picture is taken at very isolated location. Jawa the Putts is being deprived of oxygen

Notice the change in Jawa (in the picture above) to a more compliant member




After several hours of riding, Jawa was not sure if he was still in Minnesota. He was relieved and sobbing when he saw the sign indicating he was near his home. His relief and sense of security and safety gave me the perfect opportunity to deliver the final blow to his sense of self.


Using my numerous martial arts skills, I beat every ounce of self awareness and esteem out of Jawa and as the sign so aptly indicates he is now one of us.



When I left Jawa at his cabin, he was relax and very content about "just being a Nobody".

Friday, June 6, 2008

MINNESOTA MOTORCYCLE SAFETY CENTER

The Minnesota Motorcycle Safety Center (www.motorcyclesafety.state.mn.us/pages/home.html) offers basic and advanced riding courses all over the state. Two of our members attended a course in Duluth one week ago. Above Melicious Mama is practicing a skill under the watchful eye of the instructor.
Here Melicious Mama (left) is waiting her turn to practice a skill. The Basic Rider Skills Course involves five hours of classroom work and 10 hours of riding skills. They are offer almost every weekend in Duluth from spring to fall.




Here Gutts (far right) is doing one of the first skills taught. She is learning how to operate the clutch in the "gray zone" allowing it to slip to control her speed. The Basic Rider Skills Course assumes that the participants have never ridden a cycle. It is a step by step course which breaks down riding a cycle into skills. By the end of the course, the participant has all the skills necessary to start riding on the road.



Gutts looks sharp in her new Road Crafter jacket by Aerostitch. Gutts completed the course with flying colors. At the end of the course, all participants are able to take the skills test. Passing the test means a cycle endorsement on their drivers license. Gutts pass!
We have yet to find out if Melicious pass her road test, as she left early the next morning for Alaska. I do know she had a great time and learned a great deal. She also promoted the Nobodies the entire weekend.
Nine of our 12 members have attended at least one Motorcycle Safety Center courses.