ASK KICKSTAND

Ask Kickstand is an email advice column dedicated to motorcycle questions. These questions can be technical; regrading mechanical issues, safety related, philosophical, spiritual or relationship issues. 

Disclaimer: Kickstand is not a psychiatrist, a professional mechanic, Motorcycle Safety Trainer, pastor or a social worker. If a reader chooses to follow Kickstand's advice it is with the understanding that neither Kickstand nor the Nobody Motorcycle Club will be held liable.

Dear Kickstand,

I am a middle aged man who is content with my life. I have a good marriage, reasonable job and grown-up children who are doing well. My friends and family see me as a steady dependable person, which I am, but I have a problem. For many years I have been reading motorcycle magazines on the sly. No one, including my wife, has any idea that I have a passion for motorcycles. It really has not caused any problems in my life, until  several months ago. I took my passion to a new level by going to a motorcycle dealership in another town. It was fantastic! My intent was to just stop by and see the real thing. I ended up spending two hours looking at bikes and talking to a sales person. I surprised myself by how much knowledge I had retained from the years of motorcycle reading. I also impressed the sales person. It all seemed so harmless, but the flood gates opened up; I have been going to the dealership weekly,I have taken a the Motorcycle Safety Course and got my licence! Yesterday morning I woke up in my car. I was parked in my driveway and had evidently had a late night at the motorcycle dealership. Thankfully it was Saturday so I wasn't going to be late for work, but I found a key for a motorcycle in my pocket and a purchase agreement. That is when I remembered a little more about  my wild Friday night. I had bought a 2015 Triumph Trophy SE! No regrets about the purchase, but the problem is explaining it to my wife. I have a week until I need to pick up the bike, Financially the purchase is not a problem, so my wife will not be stressed about that. I just don't know how to tell her. I need your help!

Sincerely,

Secret Cycle Lover


Dear Secret Cycle Lover,

First off congratulations on your purchase and your exciting secret life. You have a problem for sure, but the good new is that you have many different options to consider.

1. Hide the bike in the garage for a week then move it into the open. When your wife sees it, simply tell her you have had the bike for a long time and didn't realize  she didn't know about it.

2. Rent a garage near by and never tell her.

3. Hide the bike in the garage and over a period of a month start getting interested in motorcycling. Have your wife go with you to a motorcycle dealership and soften her up to the idea of purchasing a bike.

4. Take some ignition parts out of your cars so they suddenly stop running one Saturday morning and then come to the rescue with The Motorcycle. By the time your have figured out the car problems your wife is crazy about the motorcycle!

5. Grow a beard, let your hair get long and unkempt, and tell your wife you are hanging out at some wild motorcycle bar. Talk about how you think you missed the boat living such a conventional life and that  it is time for you to get a chopper and live on the wild side. She will get concerned and attempt to persuade you to get some professional help. Now you simply need to come to your senses and find a reasonable outlet for this midlife crisis ..... buy a motorcycle and do some touring!

6. Tell her the truth, but in my opinion that is too simple and lack creativity.


Let me know how things go Mr. Lover and I will share it with the hundreds of Nobodies in our club and with the tens of thousands of the blog subscribers.