The Future Of Motorcycling

Hey folks, there is a crisis in the motorcycle world. Ridership is down by 8.662% in 2017.  That is not much; well think again my biking friend. This is a trend that has been going on for 11 years! The reasons are varied from people riding bicycles (yuck) to people reading about yet another biker being killed by a car, truck or deer. 

Four year old Zoe's first day of instruction

You may respond " what can I do? I am not a community leader or a fantastic club president of a world famous motorcycle club." You need only to impact your little corner of the world.

Gather up the kids in your neighborhood and teach them how to ride a dirt bike. Do it on the sly and you will not need parental permission or expensive insurance. The kids will not only learn biking skills, but also how to be deceptive and dishonest to their parents. 

Granted in my esteemed position as the Nobody Motorcycle Club president, I have been able to organize a national campaign introducing kids to the exciting sport of biking. Over 20,000 kids have received training in 2018 and we are projecting 2019 to be even more successful. My impact on a national scale has not detoured me from doing a little neighborhood work. This past summer I taught 18 neighborhood preschoolers how to  ride dirt bikes. To this day none of their parents have a clue what I did!

So it is time for you to get involved in your neighborhood and become part of the motorcycle rider crisis solution. Just send me a text and I will provide you with our Nobody Motorcycle Club packet How To Teach Kids To Ride Motorcycles (Without Parental Permission).

Riding Into The Sunset

The Nobodies have been nearly invisible for two years. Today they came riding out of the fog and headed down Country Road 4 in Carlton County Minnesota. It was a metaphorical fog, as the Nobodies are aging fast. Ninety  five percent of them are retired, so their cognitive functioning is a bit foggy! Thankfully they were able to navigate their selected route without getting lost. If you are looking for an adventure, please consider joining the Nobodies on their next ride. Old bikers not only offer a variety of stories from the"olden days" they will show you how to savor each moment, because they realize that it may be their last ride.

Cycling Thoughts

I live in a northern climate where the cycling season is at best 8 months long, if one is willing to ride in some cold weather. When the season ends, I keep my mind on cycling for a while by doing maintenance work on my bike. I then wait for the snow to fall, so I can start cross country skiing. I enjoy skiing as much as I do biking, so the transition to winter time is not painful for me. 

There are no crossover skills from biking to skiing, but the peace and joy I experience in both sports are similar. Wind, smells, scenery and corners are found in both. I experience a peace and a solitude that brings clarity to my mind.  For me it is a little odd that two very different sports can bring similar benefits.

But there is a problem that brings my winter crossover sport to a stand still, a lack of snow.  This winter we have had ample snow to keep the trails in good shape for skiing, until recently. We have had some unseasonably warm weather a couple times this winter and a few days of rain. Cross country ski trails need a good base of snow along with an occasional fresh snowfall to keep them in good shape. Warm weather melts the snow and often causes the trails to ice up and consequently skiing is not as enjoyable. When we get rain the snow quickly melts and in a short time the trails are unusable. Sadly we have had two separate 3 - 4 day warm spells that took a toll on our trails and even worse 2 separate rain events which put a halt to my winter sport. At present our trails are not skiable  so I am lamenting.

A winter without snow is very painful. I am not a lover of cold weather, but when there is snow on the ground cold weather is welcomed. Today I sit in my house, looking at expanses of grass while the thermometer reads 12 degrees fahrenheit! My cycle is tucked away in the garage ready for the riding season and my cross country skis are waiting in my porch for the next good snowfall. My mind cycles from riding to gliding. I have cycling thoughts.  

THE MID WINTER BLUES

It is that time of the year here in the northwoods. The snow keeps coming and fears of an impending ice age roll around in my head. Don't get me wrong, I believe in global warming; it is just that I allow the irrational fear of an eternal winter to capture my imagination. 

I enjoy winter and spend time enjoying it by cross country skiing and snowshoeing. I find delight in snow storms and find great pleasure in trekking in the woods braving high winds and pelting snow. It is just that I look a my motorcycle parked in the garage knowing that I have done all the necessary maintenance for the next riding season.

The motorcycle commercials that continue to run on television don't bother me. I really cannot identify with the guy riding the bike. In our area they are Harley Davidson commercials. I am a Honda guy who is not looking to live a legend, leave a legacy for my children, or looking to escape the demands of my boss and ride to Alaska with my biker buddies.

I don't want winter to end next week. I still want to enjoy this northwood's winter. The reality is that I am conflicted. You may have notice that photos of me belie this fact. I am a conflicted person, when it comes to all of life. Allow me to clarify this point. Most people who know me would describe me as very stable but crazy. I can be counted on regarding following through on promises and commitments. I usually am level headed and able to handle problems in a rational manner. People see me as predictable and stable, but in the next breath many will say I am crazy.

There in lies the conflict. I am certain that my personality quirk could be explained easily by a psychiatrist. Maybe they would say that my ego is over worked because my id and superego are prone to flare ups. The poor ego has a difficult job finding middle ground that is acceptable in my social environment.

There is a simple solution to my seasonal dilemma that I am unwilling to act upon  at this time; I need to move.  If I moved to Olympia Washington I would be able to ride 353 days a year and still get all the winter sports I love. The truth is I like be conflicted, because I'm crazy.

The Cool Motorcyclist Guide

What motivates people to ride a motorcycle? The answer, as one would expect, varies.  The Nobodies want to look at one of the more interesting and shallow reasons; it is the cool thing to do.

There are many ways to approach the cool factor.

1.A COOL BIKE   Just buy a cool bike. It is a simple way to be a cool biker; if you have the money or are willing to go into debt.

2. MOTORCYCLE HAIR  Don't get a hair cut and ride without a helmet. Motorcycle hair is considered very cool.

3. CLASSY CLOTHES  If you are someone who just likes nice clothes and has good taste. Just buy
    an outfit that you like.

4. CLASSLESS CLOTHES  If you have poor taste and enjoy setting trends that others will not        follow, just create "your" look and you have your own cool.

5. LOOK ADVENTUROUS  Side bags, tent, sleeping bag etc on your bike says: " hey I wander the
    world".  Only cool people dare to wander.

6. RIDE WITHOUT A SHIRT  Ok, there are two qualifiers with this one. If you are a man you need to be buff. A guy with flab and a belly is not cool. If you are a woman don't ride shirtless as you will eventually get in trouble or cause lots of accidents.

7. OWN A CLASSIC BIKE All you need is the cash to be cool. If you happen to be good attractive you instantly become super cool.

8. WEAR A COOL HELMET  It's an easy cool, as they are not too expensive and there are a lot to choose from.

9. GET AN OLD LEATHER JACKET, AN OLD MOTORCYCLE HAT AND SMOKE.  This guarantees a smokin hot cool.

10. WEAR LEATHER PANTS AND HIGH HEELS  Nothing says cool like leather pants and high heels. If you are a guy skip the high heels and go with a distinct motorcycle boot.

11. BE GOLDEN YEARS COOL  Good news you can become cool even if you are 60 +.  Get a nice bike and a leather jacket. If your partner is willing to join in....you're double cool.

12. RIDE FAST AND FREE Granted this requires skill and nerve. It also comes with a higher possibility of getting hurt or killed. How much are you willing to risk?

13. WILD PROPS  Only cool people will dawn wild masks, bandanas, or perhaps a skeleton passenger. Crazy Cool

14. DO TRICKS This is another cool that requires skills and lots of practice. But nothing says I'm cool more than doing a wheeling after leaving a stop signal.

 15. LOOK LIKE A RACER  This is not a cheap way to look cool. The bike and gear are very expensive, but get this stuff and just stand around in a parking lot.....you will be noticed. Caution: don't ride away when people are still watching, unless you can also ride racer like.

ASK KICKSTAND

Ask Kickstand is an email advice column dedicated to motorcycle questions. These questions can be technical; regrading mechanical issues, safety related, philosophical, spiritual or relationship issues. 

Dear Kickstand,

I have a problem that is causing me not only embarrassment, but problems in social settings. About three months ago I noticed that I was drooling. It usually is on the right side of my mouth at the corners of my lips. At first it was quite minor, but in the last month it is noticeable to anyone who is near me. My wife keeps wiping off my face with a tissue or she sticks a vacuum by the side of my mouth.  My coworkers either chuckle, wag their heads or hand me a tissue. I had one friend suggest that I wear a portable suction machine to stop the dripping off my chin. 

Could this be motorcycle related, as I don't wear a full face helmet. Can being exposed to a steady 60 mile an hour wind be the cause. Please help!

Sincerely, 

Sammy Slobber 

Dear Slobber,

I am so happy you wrote to me. Your problem sounds like Cycle Slobber. This is a medical condition that usually is caused by prolonged exposure to a steady air flow of 40 or more miles per hour. This condition takes years to manifest and correcting the problem also takes years of physical therapy. This of course can be very costly, if your insurance provider does not cover physical therapy. But I have some very good news for you. There is an inexpensive alternative. Rather than prolonged therapy you can also play a kazoo for 20 minutes every day. This treatment will produce noticeable results within three months and a complete cure is likely in about two years. Playing the kazoo strengthens the lip muscles and the muscles around the mouth. Incidentally there are 6 lip muscles and 11 muscles around the mouth. Kazoo playing strengthens all the muscles and also allows you to drool out the end of the instrument. 

I am sure you are concerned about the social issues that will persist during the treatment years. First as I mentioned you will notice a slight decline within 3 months and as the months go by your drooling will diminish. There are several ways to deal with your dripping face. 1. Wear absorbent make up. There is a product call Desert Face which absorbs an amazing amount of water. Another upside is you can actually improve your appearance. It will take you some time to learn how to apply it, but with a cosmetologist's help you can get a good jump start. 2. You can grow a nice full beard or purchase a very attractive beard in which you can hide a Drool Drip Catcher. They can be purchased at any medical equipment supply store.  3. You can hire a good disability lawyer and possibly be deemed 100 percent disabled. Since you will not need to work anymore, you could travel the country on your motorcycle and make a little extra cash playing the kazoo on street corners. Just remember to wear a full face helmet from now on.   

EXTREEM MOTORCYCLE TRIP

There are numerous motorcycle tours in the USA that could easily be described as extreme, but in my opinion the Northwest Angle ride is one of the most unique. Consider this; what would it be like to be traveling in one of the states (USA) and to reach the furthest point north in that particular state one would need to go into Canada then return to the state! That is how it works for the Northwest Angle of Minnesota.


Early in October I took a 1,000 mile bike camping trip that included traveling to the Northwest Angle of Minnesota. Leaving Duluth, I took a variety of secondary roads to Roseau Mn. After leaving Roseau, which is on the northern border it is only a 16 mile drive to reach the Canadian Border. That is when the unusual ride begins. Entering Ontario the Canadian Border  Officer asks, "what is your destination?" I reply the Northwest Angle. I am then instructed that when I reenter the USA I am required to check in at a remote border station at Jim's Corner. Fifty miles later, including 24 on isolated gravel roads Jim's corner comes into view. I am now back in Minnesota and am required to check in with the Us Border Patrol Officer at a remote border site. There is a small building the size of a shed (8'X8') with a metal box on the outside containing a phone with two buttons and a video screen. One button is labeled US the other Canada. Pushing the US button I get a customs agent and also see my image on the video screen. After answering several questions, I have officially reported back into the USA. On the way out the next day, I follow the same procedure but contact the Canadian agent.

The Northwest Angle is unique with a small population mainly composed of Resort owners and other such tourist services (as far as I could tell). While camping a Young's Bay Resort, I met several people who spend time in the area fishing. Rainey Lake is a very large body of water which offers excellent Walleye fishing. It is also the lake that prohibits one to drive to the Northwest Angle, as it cuts off this part of the USA from the rest of the state of Minnesota. A person can launch near Roseau and boat to the Angle without entering Canadian waters. Since Honda Motorcycle Corporation has not produced a motorcycle that converts to a boat, there is only one option available for the adventuring biker.

As far as I could tell, there are not any spectacular vistas or roads in the Angle. I did not explore any more that to ride to the shores of Rainy Lake at Young's Bay. My sense is that the unusual aspect to such a trip is crossing the borders via remote posts and I expect there may be  many unique people in the area with intriguing stories.

There are some great roads to travel to reach Roseau from my home in Duluth. I made the trip up to the Northwest Angle a 394 mile ride due to wandering a bit rather than a direct route. Heading home was a two day process as I headed east across Minnesota on State Hwy 11 which follows the northern border along the bank of the Rainey River. I spent my second night camping along the ever popular State Hwy 1, which is well known to bikers. I finished my trip with an excursion up State Hwy 61 along the shore of Lake Superior to Grand Marais, before heading back to Duluth.

If you ever want to take an unusual bike adventure, I recommend the Northwest Angle of Minnesota. The only detail you need to know;  you are required to have a passport to cross into Canada.