Saturday, September 26, 2015

THE MAKING OF A NOBODY PART II

Very seldom is a motorcycle club willing to disclose any information about the process of becoming a member, but this reporter was given access to such secrets and actually was allowed to participate in each step of the prospecting and initiation. The only stipulation was that all the information shared with the media would be altered enough to be deemed useless.


I was able to follow the process with Banana. Banana was a strapping 63 year old retired executive, who wanted to fade out of the public eye after spending many years in a high profile position. " I was introduced to the Nobodies through a porter at a Hotel I often used when in New York City",explained Banana. "That is when the dream of living in anonymity took seed".  When I first met Banana he was certainly a man of distinction; he was 6' 4"tall, trim and well dressed; his appearance spoke of a person of importance, who upon entering a room would always draw attention. When he was finally given full Nobody privileges after 14 months, he was a nondescript 5' 6" person, who would often be ignored by waitresses and sales people. Observing the transformation was painful for me. Banana was slowly and methodically deconstructed through psychological and physical ordeals. In one exercise he was ignored for a week; deprived of eye contact, food (other than the scraps he was able to find on the floor), clean air, unobstructed vision, clean clothing, hand soap, napkins, dental floss  and lip balm. Towards the end of his prospecting, when the club members decided to call him banana, he was placed in a curved box which was 5' 6" high for 24 hours.

Today Banana is truly a Nobody. " I am free to live!", exclaimed Banana. He has found a new niche in the world where the joy of living and being overlooked coexist.

Ruddy Turnstone
Motorcycle Gazette  

Friday, September 11, 2015

ARE YOU A BIKER OR A MOTORCYCLE RIDER?


People have often asked me if there is a difference between a biker and a motorcycle rider. I have shied away from this topic, because it is very controversial. In many riding circles, it is a topic that is to be avoided, as many riders believe the distinction is significant. Let me give you a little  background. In the early years of  motorcycling there really were no motorcycles! There were motorbikes......bicycles with motors strapped on them. The folks that were riding these contraptions often built them and took pride in their innovations. Getting around on these bikes was a real adventure that involved riding skills:the roads were rough with many challenges and the bikes did not have suspension systems and their frames were often flimsy. These pioneer riders also needed mechanical skills, as their bikes broke down several times a day and great creativity because of limited resources. This group of people were called bikers. There was a camaraderie in this group, which was fueled by their great riding stories and their road adventures together. They also experienced a certain degree of prejudiced from the "normal folk" who saw their devotion to motorbikes rather childish and unproductive. As motorbikes evolved into motorcycles, the skill set to successfully ride and maintain these two wheel vehicles remained complex and demanding. The passion for riding motorcycles continued to attract adventurous people, who were often willing to set aside convention and pursue  the world of biking. Very early on these folks were called bikers. 

As time passed, motorcycles became more reliable, but the attraction was still to a sub-group of adventurous, fun loving people. They were bikers! Leather clad road warriors willing to get around using an unconventional mode of transportation. It was not a sport but rather a lifestyle.  Present day there are clubs, various riding associations interest groups etc., but in many ways the lone biker is still the compelling image. Yes, I believe there is a difference between bikers and motorcycle riders; the question is: how does one  choose to define the distinction? Does one approach it from a historical perspective?, behavioral perspective?, or by affiliation? So the controversy is fueled by one's perspective, needless to say (so why did I say it?). My solution is to offer two different checklists. You choose the one you believe is valid.


ARE YOU A BIKER
(Historical Perspective)

___  I like gravel roads
___  I like riding in stormy weather
___  I do all my bike maintenance
___  I like to try to fix my bike before getting professional help
___ Getting lost and wandering is enjoyable
___  I try to ride every day
___ Give me a sleeping bag and a peanut butter sandwich, I'm good for a week
___  My motorcycle is my main means of transportation
___  I don't need a fancy bike with a lot of chrome.
___  Biking is great fun

If 7 or more of these statements describe you: congratulations you are a biker!

ARE YOU A BIKER
(Current Perspective)

___  I have a beard
___  I have tattoos
___  I ride without a helmet
___  Harleys are all I ride
___  Loud pipes are a necessity
___  Rain gear is for wimps
___  A leather jacket or vest and chaps are the only real ride-wear
___  Chrome and a custom paint job is preferred
___  No motorcycle shop for me, I fix it or my buddy will
___  I belong to a motorcycle club

If 7 or more of these statements describe you; congratulations you are a biker!


The  differing view points will continue and as new invitations in motorcycle are developed such as: electric cycles (which are in production now) hover bikes and even invisible bikes, the waters will be muddier than the present. This entire topic is really trivial and a waste of time; that's why I take it very seriously!   




Thursday, May 14, 2015

THE MAKING OF A NOBODY PART 1

Due to the Nobody Motorcycle Club's complex secrecy policies I am limited in how much I can share with our thousands of blog readers about the process involved in becoming a Nobody. But I have been given permission by our Executive Board to give you a peek into our year long prospect process.  


Nobody member Flash: Our Sturgeon General of Prospect Development 




Motorcycle Challenge Site 




Prospect # 377134509


At the crack of dawn on May 1 of this year Prospect # 377134509 received a  call telling him he needed to meet Kickstand and Flash at the Little Store in Gary New Duluth. He had 1 hour to get ready. The prospect was not give any information other than he would be give his first Nobody challenge. 

Several hundred miles later, in a motorcycle showroom Prospect # 377134509 was told he needed to steal a motorcycle off the floor of the store one part at a time and re-assemble the bike in an  adjacent vacant lot. Our prospect was able to steal 10 parts before getting caught. To his relief he discovered the store owner was in on this challenge.  Our prospect challenge was to teach two important Nobody Lessons.  1. A Nobody never breaks the law, when obeying a leadership direction  
2. It takes a great deal of practice to be insignificant to the extent of  being unnoticed.

Our prospect learned that he has a long way to go before he can call himself a Nobody. He also learned that when going on any rides, he pays for everyone's gas and meals!
     

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

ANNUAL MEETING BRINGS FOCUS ON THE COMING RIDING SEASON

The Nobodies assembled with great anticipation, not only about the coming riding season but about the swirling rumors regarding the many new prospects and the slogan for 2015. No one was disappointed when President Kickstand introduced the potential members and the slogan. The ride calendar also created much buzz as it is creative and ambitious.

Due to our extensive policies regarding prospect anonymity, we cannot reveal the names of any of our potential new members. Let's just say they all embody the needed characteristics of a Nobody; no one notices when they enter a crowded room, they are contributing to society in ways that will never be noticed and they are comfortable being ignored and overlooked.

The ride calendar was approved with a couple of needed corrections.

NOBODY 2015 RIDE CALENDAR

JANUARY

Saturday 24      Ice Cube Olympics


FEBRUARY

Saturday 21   Perch Lake Ice Races    

MARCH

Friday 20       Spring Ding A Ling Ride
Saturday 28   Annual Meeting

APRIL

Saturday 18     Northshore Vanilla Bean Breakfast Ride

MAY
Saturday  9    Club House Ride
Saturday 16    Sunrise Ride To Nowhere
Tuesday  20    Skyline Time Trial
Saturday 23   Interstate Back Roads Ride
Saturday 30    Northshore Vanilla Bean Breakfast Ride

JUNE

Saturday 6     Short Cut Ride
Saturday 13   Northshore Vanilla Bean Breakfast Ride
Monday   15   International Ride To Work (retired people Work To Ride)
Sunday    21    Blind Lizard Rally (Mpls)
Saturday 27    Babbit Pete Mitchell Days Bike Show
Tuesday  30    Wisconsin Wanderings

JULY

Wednesday 1   Canada Day Thunder Bay Ride
Monday      13    Less Gas More Guts Ride
Friday        11            Up North Weekend Camping Trip
Tuesday 21    Bag Lunch Brookston Ride

Saturday 25   Northshore Vanilla Bean Breakfast Ride

AUGUST
Tuesday 4    Where Am I Going Ride
Saturday 8   Northshore Vanilla Bean Breakfast Ride

Monday 10    Ship Shape Ride

SEPTEMBER

Saturday 6      Kensington Rune Stone Ride

Monday 8       Full Moon Ride

Friday 18 -
Sunday 20      Copper Mountain Camping

Saturday 26    Northshore Vanilla Bean Breakfast Ride

OCTOBER

Saturday 10    Halfwit Ride

Saturday 24   Northshore Vanilla Bean Breakfast Ride

NOVEMBER
Saturday 7    I Can’t Feel My Ass Ride
Saturday 28  Frozen Turkey Ride

DECEMBER
Saturday 12  The Christmas Tree Ride 


This year's slogan is Celebrating Ten Years Of Nonexistence. Yes the Nobodies are celebrating their 10th Anniversary. Plans are in the works for a weekend celebration in September which will be open to the general public.

Friday, March 20, 2015

FIRST DAY OF SPRING

It has been a tough winter, especially since my only other hobbies are: smoking, cat herding and crossword puzzles.  


I have March 20th circled on my calendar, as the day to get the cycle out and officially begin the riding season, I will not be riding today.  I just don't like to ride in freezing temperatures anymore. It doesn't have anything to do with being smarter or more in my right mind, but simply speaks of the impracticability of bundling up and enduring the cold seeping into my bones. If you are riding today in some northern region, where winter still has a bit of a hold, congratulations. You are an inspiration to many. I'm going to wait a few more days....or perhaps it will be weeks.    

Sunday, September 7, 2014

THE BIG LITTLE TOUR OF MINNESOTA

This year the Nobodies Summer Tour went big in a small way. Inspired by Jill A. Johnson's Book Little Minnesota ; a nostalgic look a Minnesota's smallest towns, the Nobodies spent six days traveling around Minnesota passing through many small towns, while using only county roads and state highways. From the eastern boarder following the St. Croix River and Mississippi River to country roads along the Iowa boarder then heading north to the Canadian boarder following the Rainy River, the Nobodies saw a good sampling of little Minnesota. The natural beauty of the state was continuous throughout the tour. Due to our photo policy that no members can be photographed; all the pictures of the tour are scenic with the exception of the author and  Jawa The Puttz ( who is an illegal alien from the Gazx Galaxy, thus rendering him no personal rights).
 
 
 
SMALL TOWN MINNESOTA HAS MANY CITY PARKS


 
 
THE MISSISSIPPI IS TEAMING WITH WILDLIFE AND COMMERCE 
 
 
MINNEISKA IS A CLASSIC SMALL TOWN Pop: 111


THE NOBIDIES CAMPED AT STATE PARKS
 
Beaver Creek State Park near Caledonia


 
Beaver Creek needed to be crossed......nice slippery algae covered concrete 


County Road along the Minnesota/Iowa border 


Small Town Minnesota offered many nice lunch break sites





Sometimes the County roads regressed to narrow gravel roads



Far North at Lake Of The Woods near Baudette we camped at Zippel Bay State Park
 
The Rainy River with north shoreline Canada


At last back at Lake Superior near Tettegouche State Park



Kickstand and Java The Puttz in the middle of nowhere: this photo was taken by a brown bear

 
The Nobodies are now accepting preregistration for their Octoburr Tour of the Northwest Angle of Minnesota. Just email us or contact us on our blog for all the details and a registration form. 

Saturday, March 22, 2014

NOBODY CLUBHOUSE NEARS COMPLETION

After years of fundraisers, empty tank rides, bouncer jobs at Playfront events the new clubhouse is nearly completed.  We were able to save thousands of dollars by hiring Cat Construction. The foreman for the job Socks was relentless in making sure each job was done correctly. Socks also took care of our mouse problem! A Big Nobody Bash is being planned in May. The Nobodies hope that this investment in a modern and plush clubhouse will motivate many potential nobodies to prospect with us. We also believe the on site state of the art motorcycle shop that will be constructed this summer will lure other bike lovers.