A FIGHT NOBODY WILL WIN

I recently received this letter from the President of the Nobody Here Motorcycle Club. If you are unable to decipher the letter, here are the main points.

• The Nobody Here Motorcycle Club of Nowhere Michigan is requesting that we
  change our name, because of the similarity.
• Nowhere Michigan is near Lancing.
• The NHMC has been in existence for 43 years and has 68 members.
• The NHMC would like to settle this dispute amicably and honorably.
• The NHMC has a great slogan " Going somewhere, be there tomorrow"

I sent the following letter to the President of the Nobody Here Motorcycle Club

Tom "Kickstand" Bergum
Nobody Motorcycle Club
Duluth Mn.

Mr. Patterson,
I received your letter. Your concern does not seem warranted in my opinion for several reasons. First, although our names are similar they are distinctly different. Consequently, they would not lend to any confusion to the general public. Secondly, Nowhere must be at least 700 miles from Duluth, therefore the chance of a Nobody encountering a Nobody Here would be very slight. This also raises a philosophical question. What would happen if a Nobody did meet a Nobody Here? I personally believe nothing would happen, as no interaction would be possible. And last but certainly not least, The Nobody Motorcycle Club of Duluth is very loosely organized. We have no charter, no bylaws, and actually no true organization. Mr. Pelzel and myself have simply appointed ourselves president and vice-president of the Nobodies. We have very few aspirations, low standards and lack any organizational skills. We are a threat to no one......and that is what makes us true Nobodies.

I am thrilled to realize that if I ever rode my bike to Nowhere, I would be able to meet a Nobody that was not there. We Nobodies wish you the best and if you every decide to go somewhere in Minnesota please come on up to Duluth and take a ride with your distant relatives the Nobodies.



Sincerely,
Tom "Kickstand" Bergum
President of the Nobody Motorcycle Club

The response I received from President Patterson NHMC was not surprising to me, because of my ability to read between the lines of his initial letter. I do not feel comfortable at this time to post his reply, as we are in the beginning stages of a legal battle, but I can list the key point of his letter.

• The Nobody Here Motorcycle Club is coming to Duluth to kick our butts, if we do not stop using their name by June 1.

Our attorney Ruddy Turnstone has contacted their attorney Crush Mauler. Ruddy's initial impression is that although the Nobody Here Motorcycle Club has an attorney, they really are not interested in the laws of our country or any legal process. Ruddy's suggestion to us is " better get in fighting shape".