WHY I RIDE A MOTORCYCLE

PICTURED ABOVE IS MY COUSIN STEVE AND ME AT THE DULUTH AIRPORT WITH MY COUSIN SANDY IN THE BACKGROUND. STEVE WENT ON TO FOUND THE FAMOUS PLAID STREET GANG OF SAN FRANCISCO.

When I was 10 years old, I wanted a 7 zipper motorcycle jacket. I didn't know why. I thought they were cool and there was a part of me that wanted to be a "hood". I got my jacket, thanks mom, but I was not cut out to become a "hood".


When I turned 56, I wanted a pair of motorcycle boots. I didn't know why. I thought they were cool and there was a part of me that told me they would open a whole new world to me.

TOM (NOW KNOWN AS KICKSTAND) WONDERING WHAT TO DO NEXT

The summer of 2006, I started riding motorcycles. I didn't know why, but I liked it. It scared me and relaxed me at the same time.

Just last week I discovered a "branch" from my family tree that explained my affinity to leather jackets, boots, motorcycles and "hoods".

MY UNCLE REX LOVED TO RIDE. HE WAS ALSO ABLE TO MULTI TASK WHILE ON A CYCLE

MY GREAT UNCLE HAROLD WAS CONSUMED WITH BIKING AND WAS A GOOD MECHANIC TOO!

MY UNCLE FLOYD (HOLDING BACK A FEISTY KID) LIKED BIKING AND BEING THE LEADER OF THE HELLDEDOGANS; A NOTORIOUS MOTORCYCLE GANG FROM FERTILE MN.

Genetics!

That is why I ride motorcycles.

That is why I am the president of the Nobody Motorcycle Club.

It was my destiny to be a Nobody!

ASK KICKSTAND

Ask Kickstand is an email advice column dedicated to motorcycle questions. These questions can be technical; regrading mechanical issues, safety related, philosophical, spiritual or relationship issues.

Disclaimer: Kickstand is not a psychiatrist, a professional mechanic, Motorcycle Safety Trainer, pastor or a social worker. If a reader chooses to follow Kickstand's advice it is with the understanding that neither Kickstand nor the Nobody Motorcycle Club will be held liable.

Dear Kickstand,

I read your blog entry about Smelty this morning. My husband and I had quite a discussion about why he is not riding his "new " bike. We think he is afraid of the shear size and power of the Virago. Going from a KZ 440 to a Yamaha 920 is a big jump. He might be afraid to admit to his friends he has fears about riding it. We knew a neighbor guy who bought a brand new John Deer mower. He continued to use his old, smaller riding mower for two years. His new mower was kept in his garage polished and gassed up. Years later he admitted to his wife that he delayed riding it, because he was unsure he could handle it. He feared running into the bushes and having all the neighbors see him crash. We think some one needs to gently bring up the topic of cc fears to Smelty. We also thought it was odd that he was wearing clogs while sitting on his bike. To us that further confirms our suspicion that he is not "ready" to ride a big bike.

Sincerely,

Lori The V Max Lover

Dear Lori,

I think you and your husband put a lot of though into your theory. You were very observant to notice that the bike is very clean. I'm not entirely sold on your cc fear theory. The picture reveals a couple of other clues regarding Smelty. You may notice that Smelty's hair is carefully combed and perfectly gelled. You may also have notice that his blue jeans have no wrinkles as they have been ironed. Smelty is a neat freak. So the clean bike may not necessarily be a sign of a love/fear relationship. You will also notice in the picture that he owns a Dodge truck. Smelty's persona smacks of " I'm a man's man", and for the most part that is true. So fearing the cc's may not necessarily be the root of his problems. Thanks for your thoughts. Lets keep thinking about this motorcycle mystery. Maybe some other readers will share their theories.

Kickstand

RAMDOM THOUGHTS FROM THE PRESIDENT

It's cold outside and I have not ridden my bike for about two weeks. So, I have had plenty of time to think about important Nobody stuff. Diversity has been a catch word for a good 10 years now. In fact at my place of work, every year I need to attend a cultural diversity course. Hey, I not against diversity......how can one be against such a thing. In fact the Nobodies are very diverse. We have men, women, big bikes, little bikes, old, new, and we even allow posers in our group.
You see we have our blue collar lunch pail riders who commute to work every day from April through October. We have our fair weather rides who are out with their nice shinny bikes in their nice clean leathers, and we have our posers who have bikes that hardly ever get out of the garage.
Just consider Smelty for a moment. He rode a KZ 450 faithfully for one season. Then this past spring he decided to get a bigger bike. Oh he looked good on that Virago 920. "This is the bike for me!" he claimed. But it is strange that he has never ridden it to work and only on a few occasions joined me for a ride. He claims that he is having ignition problems. These "problems" continued through the entire biking season. I am starting to believe that Smelty has become a poser. He likes how he looks on his bike. He likes to talk to folks about his bike, but he doesn't want to ride it.
How does one go from being a dedicated every day rider to a stationary driveway look at me poser? I think it is going to take me a few long cold winter nights to figure that out. If you have any ideas please send them my way.

Smelty sitting on his Yamaha ( note the clog footwear)

WHAT'S YOUR NEXT BIKE?

PRETZEL WANTS A BIKE THAT REQUIRES ZERO MAINTENANCE AND GREAT MPGS

It is time to tuck your cycle away for the winter, at least the sane riders are coming to that realization. So how can one handle the off season? If you are an aspiring mechanic, you can start doing all the necessary maintenance and maybe even tackle a bigger bike project. If you have some extra cash, the winter is the time to accessorise and improve your ride.


I would speculate that an all time favorite winter workout is to dream about one's next bike. I have never been much for dreaming about accumulating new stuff until I started motorcycling. I now have a list of things I want for my present bike. along with a list of bikes I would like to stable in my Nobody Garage.

My ultimate dream bike is a Honda ST 1100. It is a sports touring bike that would be great for all those Nobody Tours I intend to partake in throughout my golden years. The ST 1100 was manurfactured from 1990 - 2002 . It then was replaced by the ST1300. Hey, as you know I am not greedy, 1100 cc would be plenty for me. Actually being somewhat of a scardy cat, the 1100 seems big enough for me. I also would like to keep the price tag for my touring bike under $4,000. Well that bike purchase is down the road several miles for me. At the present time, I have $13.87 in my ST fund. (If you would like to contribute to my ST fund just contact me. I am not a non- profit entity yet, so you donations would not be considered a charitable contribution.)


A more realistic bike purchase for me is a small dual sport bike. I would like to get an older, somewhat beat up one. Something in the 125 - 200 cc range would be just great. I want this bike for a very practical, but also a very insane purpose. My dream is to ride to work year round. So the dual sport would be my winter bike. My thinking is; a small bike with studs on the tires would get me to work with the minimum of slips and falls. I think a small bike would not hurt much falling on top of me and also I could learn those vital dumping skills. Granted hitting signs, parked cars, fences, guardrail etc. would still hurt this old body. Hitting or getting hit by a moving car would be a major problem.


Now you may be saying; " you are crazy" and "your wife would never let you do such a stupid, reckless thing" Well ,I suppose I am crazy and if I get to purchase such a bike I may discover that the winter biking plan is unsafe and/or impractical. As far as my wife is concerned, she supports the idea with just one stipulation. I need to finish our basement before I buy my winter bike. I am now working on the basement with a renewed commitment and passion!

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