ASK KICKSTAND

Ask Kickstand is an email advice column dedicated to motorcycle questions. These questions can be technical; regrading mechanical issues, safety related, philosophical, spiritual or relationship issues.

Disclaimer: Kickstand is not a psychiatrist, a professional mechanic, Motorcycle Safety Trainer, pastor or a social worker. If a reader chooses to follow Kickstand's advice it is with the understanding that neither Kickstand nor the Nobody Motorcycle Club will be held liable.

Dear Kickstand,

I am a 47 year old man who has been riding motorcycle for five years. My wife says I started riding due to a mid-life crisis. We have fun joking about my sudden interest in motorcycles. She will occasionally go for a ride with me, but for the most part it is my hobby. I own a 1982 Honda Sabre V45. I really like the bike and have been learning how to do all the maintenance in fact I am rather proud that I did a modification on the oil system the first winter I had the bike. You may be aware that the early Sabres would often have excessive camshaft wear.

Before biking, my main hobbies were doing crossword puzzles and making bread. Now I spend my free time tinkering with my cycle, reading cycle magazines and doing palates to keep in shape. I ride about 5,000 miles a season and commute to work once or twice a week.

My coworkers find it very humorous that the skinny accountant is now into biking. It is all good humor, but I am now wondering if it is time to join a bike club where I can meet some people who share an interest in cycling. Since I started looking for a club, I have realized that none of them seem to fit my interests and needs. I recently came across your blog and am interested in finding out if the Nobodies is a good fit for me.

Thanks,

Skinny Sabre


Dear Skinny,

Thanks for your email. You have posed an interesting and important question. Does everyone need to belong to a motorcycle club? The short answer is no. There are people who find the solitude of biking the most appealing aspect. Those folks don't want to share that experience with others. There are also people who ride in such an unpredictable and erratic fashion that no one is willing to risk riding with them. You don't sound like you fit into either category. So the long answer is I don't know if you need to be involved in a club. Joining a motorcycle club is much different than joining any other club. The demands are excessive and the cost cannot be measured in dollars. When one joins a legitimate motorcycle club like the Nobodies, they are placing their entire identity into the hands of the club leadership. I am not necessarily talking about being required to to illegal activities or behaving in a manner contrary to one's personal ethics, although that may occur. I am addressing the reality of losing one's sense of self for the good of the club. Now it you are willing to sign on that doted line, then you are a good candidate for a motorcycle club. If you would like to learn more about the Nobodies, contact me and we can set up a meeting.

Sincerely,

Kickstand

NOBODIES START SEASON

PRETZEL AND DIRTY DEEDS AT BRIGHTON BEACH



There were three Nobodies on the Muffin Ride, three!; not five or seven or ten. But in reality what is the difference, numbers to Nobodies mean nothing. How many Nobodies does it take to have fun? I think the answer is none! It was 48 degrees at the start of our ride up the Northshore of Lake Superior and 44 degrees at the conclusion. We kept warm, because we are from Duluth and know how to dress for the weather.

I'M WITH THE DUMB GUY, I'M WITH THE STUPID GUY

It is important to remember the Nobody mantra:

Nobody 1"Hi where are you going?"
Nobody 2 "I don't know".

Nobody 1 "Who are you?"

Nobody 2 "I'm a Nobody".

Nobody 1 "Where are you from?"

Nobody 2 "I'm from Duluth and I'm stupid."

DIRTY DEEDS AND PRETZEL UP THE SHORE

DIRTY DEEDS AND KICKSTAND TAKE A BREAK AT A HIGHWAY 61 OVERLOOK

It felt good to finally get the club rides started and we all lived to ride another day. Our next scheduled ride is Saturday May 9. It is the Two Bit ride. All riders are to come with exactly $10.00 at the end of the ride the person with $.25 left is the winner of a fabulous prize provided by our latest sponsor Betty's Pies. Exact time of the ride will be announced on or before Monday May 4.

WE'RE BORN TO BE MILD

I've always been some what of a chicken. A chicken in a good way. I am wary to do any thing just for the sake of doing it. One of the first thoughts that comes to my head is.....what is the worst thing that could happen? Often that has stopped me in my tracks from doing or trying some thing that has a high risk associated with it. I have done some exciting activities in my life such as technical rock climbing, mountain climbing, whitewater canoeing and whitewater kayaking, but I have thought about the risk and deemed it reasonable. I continue to do some activities that are perceived to be dangerous like rock climbing, going on zip lines and high ropes courses and of course my newest adventure motorcycling.

I believe that with knowledge and skill one can do many high risk activities safely. Since I don't need an adrenaline rush, I prefer to do things sanely and safely. My biker brother Pretzel is of the same mind. He has had his share of close calls and brushes with disaster, but they have helped shape him into a more careful, safety conscious person.

When we talk about being born to be mild, we are talking about one of our core values. That value is safety. Nobody takes safety more seriously than a Nobody. We talk about how to be a safe biker and we look for ways to improve our skills. The Motorcycle Safety Foundation teaches that 90 % of motorcycle safety is mental, meaning how we survey our surroundings and how we respond to them. Only 10 % of motorcycle safety in related to skills. Another way to look at it is you never want to put yourself in a situation that pushes the limits of your skills, unless you are looking for an adrenalin rush!

If you ever happen to ride with the Nobodies you will discover that we value giving each other feedback on how we are riding and are always looking for ways to make sure our rides are safe.
Now if you choose to not wear a helmet and other protective gear, that is your choice. But if you choose to ride in a way that endangers other Nobodies or irritates other motorists, we will let you know. I like the song "Born to be wild" but I like to live on the mild side!

IT IS TIME TO RIDE

KICKSTAND IN TWO HARBORS

I'm thinking that it is time for the Nobodies to start riding. Our first ride will be the fabulous and famous Muffin Ride to Two Harbors. So get your gear and bike ready. Meet us either at 4000 W. 9th Street at 1:30 or at Brighten Beach at around 2:15 Saturday April 18. We have a great ride calendar (posted on this bog) and I think we are going to have a break out year for the Nobodies. I am proud to announce that both the President and Vice President have started commuting by cycle. We encourage you to also become a committed commuter this riding season. Our slogan this year is "Every day is a good day to ride to work".

A FIGHT NOBODY WILL WIN

I recently received this letter from the President of the Nobody Here Motorcycle Club. If you are unable to decipher the letter, here are the main points.

• The Nobody Here Motorcycle Club of Nowhere Michigan is requesting that we
  change our name, because of the similarity.
• Nowhere Michigan is near Lancing.
• The NHMC has been in existence for 43 years and has 68 members.
• The NHMC would like to settle this dispute amicably and honorably.
• The NHMC has a great slogan " Going somewhere, be there tomorrow"

I sent the following letter to the President of the Nobody Here Motorcycle Club

Tom "Kickstand" Bergum
Nobody Motorcycle Club
Duluth Mn.

Mr. Patterson,
I received your letter. Your concern does not seem warranted in my opinion for several reasons. First, although our names are similar they are distinctly different. Consequently, they would not lend to any confusion to the general public. Secondly, Nowhere must be at least 700 miles from Duluth, therefore the chance of a Nobody encountering a Nobody Here would be very slight. This also raises a philosophical question. What would happen if a Nobody did meet a Nobody Here? I personally believe nothing would happen, as no interaction would be possible. And last but certainly not least, The Nobody Motorcycle Club of Duluth is very loosely organized. We have no charter, no bylaws, and actually no true organization. Mr. Pelzel and myself have simply appointed ourselves president and vice-president of the Nobodies. We have very few aspirations, low standards and lack any organizational skills. We are a threat to no one......and that is what makes us true Nobodies.

I am thrilled to realize that if I ever rode my bike to Nowhere, I would be able to meet a Nobody that was not there. We Nobodies wish you the best and if you every decide to go somewhere in Minnesota please come on up to Duluth and take a ride with your distant relatives the Nobodies.



Sincerely,
Tom "Kickstand" Bergum
President of the Nobody Motorcycle Club

The response I received from President Patterson NHMC was not surprising to me, because of my ability to read between the lines of his initial letter. I do not feel comfortable at this time to post his reply, as we are in the beginning stages of a legal battle, but I can list the key point of his letter.

• The Nobody Here Motorcycle Club is coming to Duluth to kick our butts, if we do not stop using their name by June 1.

Our attorney Ruddy Turnstone has contacted their attorney Crush Mauler. Ruddy's initial impression is that although the Nobody Here Motorcycle Club has an attorney, they really are not interested in the laws of our country or any legal process. Ruddy's suggestion to us is " better get in fighting shape".

SPRING AND SUMMER RIDES

FEBURARY
28 Annual Meeting Ride

MARCH
21 Monthly Muffin Ride

APRIL
1 Fools 50 Mile Ride
15 Sneak Out Ride
17Out To Lunch Ride
18 Monthly Muffin Ride

MAY
1-2 Membership Drive
9 Two Bit City Ride
16 Monthly Muffin Ride*
23 Nobody's Perfect Ride*
24 Blessing Of The Bikes* (Vineyard Church Arrowhead Road)

JUNE
6 Bad Biker Ride
12 Interstate Loop Ride*
15 National Ride To Work Day* (ridetowork.org)
20 Monthly Muffin Ride*
25 -28 National Sidecar Association National Rally Lake
Tahoe(www.sidecar.com/rally)
21 Hell’s Angels Welcome Ride
26 -27 Nobody Mini Tour*

JULY
1 Pretzel's Sidecar Is Ready Ride
1 -5 BWCAW Ride And Canoe Trip*
10 -18 Nobody Tour (Up State New York)
26 Monthly Muffin Ride*

AUGUST
1-2 Nobody's Trip (Highway 1 Revisited)
7 Out To Lunch Ride
9 Biker Buddy Ride
29 Monthly Muffin Ride

* Rides are scooter accessible

All Rides Subject To Change Without Notice

GET READY

Duluth is one of those places where winter is slow about releasing its grasp. These pictures were taken on March 31, when we were experiencing high winds (40 mph) and heavy snow. It is hard to believe that the cycle season is a week or two away (for the hearty) when we get these spring storms.

I have been busy on a home project of finishing off our basement, so I can enjoy some of those soon to come warm spring days with the Nobodies. It has been easy to keep the nose to the grind stone, because we have had two weeks of cold, wet, and snowy weather.

The poor weather has also allowed me to finish off my bike maintenance without feeling rushed.

All I have left to do is grease up the bike and then give it a spring cleaning.

I finally got the nerve to adjust the valves. As I expected, it was not too difficult. I think the next time I will be able to do it quicker and with more confidence. When I was able to fire up the bike, I let out a sigh of relief. The engine sounded good. My hope is to start driving my dual sport to work starting Monday April 7.